whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
