so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
