OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Duck Duck Cougar?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize