I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
