This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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