I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
