We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize