im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
