U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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