dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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