what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
