Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
