so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
