i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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