Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
