We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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