To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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