the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
