dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
