Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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