Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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