My brain says no but my pants say off.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
