I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
