his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
