Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
