Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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