Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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