Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
