Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
