when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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