Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
