There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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