I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
