dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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