I just cut my nipple shaving
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's official drugs can't kill me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
