just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
