YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
