idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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