Sry I called you an 8
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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