so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
