Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
