bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
