so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize