Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh god it's open bar.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
