Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you never un-have a 4some
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