I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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