puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
