kristin has been a bad kristin
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
