So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
