Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
