we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
