Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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