dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
