You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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