I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
