hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
