I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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