It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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