Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
