Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
