idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
