he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
