I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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