'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize